21 Houses to Avoid on Halloween

Don’t be that stupid guy that gets killed first. Think twice before you go looking for a thrill this Halloween…. (queue the spooky music).

1. Wooden Houses with pointy Witch hats.

This house is obviously cursed and will have you sprouting Latin (or some other dead language) in no time.

2. Creepy Mansions with unnecessarily-long footpaths.

Because that’s where you’ll be found, just before the gates. With an axe sticking out of your back.

3. Anything that looks like an old mental asylum

If you and your buddies decide to “split up”, wait for the inevitable, death will come shortly.

4. The Little House in the Woods

Heard a noise and one of you decides to go check it out? Did they happen to mention they’ll “be back soon”? Well, they’re not coming back. So just kick back, relax and wait. You’re next. Don’t bother running, you’ll trip over a bunch of times anyway. And even if there is a house in running distance from this one, they’re probably axe murderers too.

Abandoned house behind Rockland Lake by Patty M

5. Houses that look like the Bates Motel.

Expect a crazed copycat murderer to be waiting for you inside.

6. The House that’s watching you.

So you think this would be the perfect place for a harmless night of ghost stories with beer and flashlights? That house is counting on it.

7. The House that looks like a creepy old orphanage where there was a “mysterious” fire.

The twin girls with the white petticoats are still looking for revenge, so best leave them to it.

8. That House on the Hill

You’re already out of breath from climbing up the steep driveway…. not ideal, seeing as you’re going to be chased around by the chainsaw killer that lives there.

9. An Entire Village of Abandoned Houses.

So that works out as an entire village-worth of zombies to fight off. (Sorry, your chances are slim).

10. The Clown House

We all know clowns are not to be messed with. Stay home and watch “IT” with the lights on instead.

11. The Old Farmhouse

If you’re in Texas, you should know better really.

12. Houses that could Swallow you Up

The health and safety hazards would get you even before those creatures living inside.

13. The House with the Room at the Top

See those windows at the top? Yeah, that’s the room where little Jimmy stands and lures in his victims. One by one.

14. The House with the Evil Grin

Any house with a facial expression on it should probably be avoided.

15. A House that looks perfect for a location on The Walking Dead

Yep, there’s half-eaten people locked up in the basement if you’d like to join them.

16. The House everyone knows is haunted but gets sold to some out-of-towners as a “fixer-upper”.

Do you really need candy that badly?

17. The Old House by the Lake

Saw an inviting light on in the window? You might as well get the inevitable over with  and just throw yourself into the lake.

Abandoned house in Scotland by Stuart Herbert.

18. That place Blair Witch was probably filmed

At least film the whole thing so someone can find the grainy footage and make millions at the box office with it next Halloween.

19. The Hansel & Gretel House

What part of “she’s going to put you in the oven” did you not understand?

20. The House with police tape across it and vultures chilling on the roof.

Police tape indicates there was a murder here. The vultures indicate they haven’t found all the bodies yet.

21. The House on the Empty Road where you really don’t want to run out of gas.

Word of advice: Just skip Texas altogether on your Halloween road trip.